What is a Wake

A wake is a gathering of family and friends to sit with or near the body of someone who has died, typically held in the days before burial. The tradition dates back centuries and exists across many cultures — the idea being that the living keep watch over the dead, offering companionship and guarding against premature burial before modern medicine. Today, a wake most often refers to a viewing or visitation at a funeral home, where the body may or may not be present and people gather to share memories and offer condolences.

An Irish wake is a centuries-old tradition of gathering around the body of the deceased for a night — or multiple nights — before burial, typically in the family home. Far from somber, a traditional Irish wake includes storytelling, music, food, drink, laughter, and the kind of communal warmth that honors the person by celebrating who they were. The body's presence is central: the dead are not hidden but held in community as they transition. The tradition reflects a Celtic and Catholic belief in keeping the dead company and supporting the living through collective grieving.

In modern American usage, wake and viewing are often used interchangeably, but there is a subtle distinction. A viewing specifically refers to a gathering where the body is present and open for viewing, usually at a funeral home with or without the casket open. A wake historically implied an overnight vigil, though that practice is now rare outside of specific cultural traditions like the Irish wake. Both typically precede a funeral service by one to two days and serve as the primary opportunity for community members to pay their respects.

An Irish wake typically precedes the formal funeral and is held in the home rather than a funeral home or church. Where a funeral service is structured and ceremonial, a wake is informal and social. The body remains present, often laid out in the living room or parlor, and guests move in and out over hours or an entire night. Food, drink, stories, and even laughter are central — grief and celebration coexist deliberately. The funeral Mass or graveside service follows the next day.

At a typical wake or visitation, guests arrive during a set window — often two to four hours — and move through the room to offer condolences to the immediate family, who usually stand or sit near the casket or a display of photographs. There may be a brief religious rite or prayer, particularly in Catholic wakes. Guests share stories, hug, sit together, and spend time in the presence of grief as a community. There is no formal program — the gathering is unscripted and shaped by whoever shows up.

The most important thing to bring to a wake is simply yourself — showing up matters more than any object. Many people bring flowers, though some families request donations to a charity in lieu of flowers; check the obituary or death notice. A sympathy card with a handwritten note is always appropriate. Food sent to the family's home in the days following can be more practically helpful than flowers at the service. If you were close to the deceased, bringing a printed photograph or a brief written memory to share with the family is a meaningful gesture.